Mallin' It

Today when the boys came home from school, we went to the mall. Big Son's Ipod was having problems so we went to the Apple store to see if it could be fixed. Thank God that when he bought it I talked him into purchasing the warranty package. The Ipod couldn't be repaired; however, because of the warranty program he is getting a new one for $50. He was happy. Then I talked the boys into doing one of my favorite thing. We sat on a bench in the center of the mall where it was busy and people watched. Then I talked them into picking out a person and telling what they thought that person was about. You know, the usual. Kids, are they happy, married, what type of job they have, etc. It seemed like they had fun.

Then the best part. I talked them (again) into doing something they never do. Go into a store and try on cloths that I give them. The deal was I would buy them a pair of shorts and shirt each if they did it. They Had FUN. My boys HATE trying on clothes. I picked out clothes that they usually don't wear, and believe it or not they actually picked those clothes. And they did it in 3 different stores. We had a lot of good laughs. Obviously my boys went to bed early last night and had a good day at school to do this with me. The only bummer was that my camera broke.

Cars

On Monday (3/24) the boys had no school. So... what to do. I knew that, from all the friends they had over since the Thursday before that if we stayed home they would lounge around all day and probably stay inside. Or worse, fight with each other and me.

That is when I remembered about the auto show in NYC. That was just what we needed. A day in NYC. So, I woke up Big Son and off we went. The car to the right is WHAT I WANT. '09 Camero. It is so beautiful. Even husband likes it. The boys like it. Don't you think I'd be a cool mom if I had this to drive to football games in?


















Second choice is the '09 Mustang. Not to shabby either. I could definitely deal with this one to. Same car but maybe in a convertible.














The '09 Jag. Always a classic and a beautiful luxury car. Maybe if I ever in my life win lottery.













An '09 Caddy. Nice. Probably more in the right price range; however much to my Husband's shock, I did not look at any prices. It was great to dream.


The boys had a great time and Big Son seeing a driver's license in the near future brought home a lot of brochures on what he wanted. Husband had a god laugh that night. He told Big Son to start hanging around and being real nice to his grandfather and uncle in SC. Big Son picked out Audi's, BMWs and Mercedes. Funny right?

High School Orientation

Last night Husband and I went to the high school for an orientation of what Big Son will be doing next year. It was kind of a waste of time, but somethings I found interesting and not quite right. Next year they are starting a new writing program. Although not all the issues have been hammered out, it was presented to us. From what I could understand, in addition to the English course, there will be an extended writing course. The kids will be taught how to write, edit, revise and express their thoughts more thoroughly. The only problem I had with this is that sometimes they will need to attend a writing lab and since there is no more time during the school day, they will get pulled out of lunch. Supposedly, it will only happen 6-8 times a year. That is not a big deal; however, when you put it together with the peer counseling 9th graders have to attend, again they get pulled from lunch for this approximately 20-26 times throughout the year, there are not many weeks when they actually have a lunch period. I know that the kids can eat during lab and peer counseling, but by state law they are to have a lunch period. To me, this is a time to eat and unwind from the moring classes and get ready for the afternoon. Also, instead of taking Health in 10th grade, they now take it in 9th. It seems like there is a lot more pressure on the kids in high school than there was when I went. One of the guidance counslors talked and said that in 9th grade the parents meet with their child's guidance counslor and make a 4 year plan. Each year we meet and make sure the 4 year plan is up to date and that the child is following it.

I'm so glad I'm not in this high school format. I feel sorry for my kids that there is so much pressure on them to perform. Not that I don't want them to have the top school available to them. I am just worried about the price and stress that is being placed on them to perform. Today I got their report cards. Big Son, who has always had a hard time with structured classes, who puts his heart in his work, got a straight b+ average. This is a child who doesn't study for tests no matter how much I push him. Little Son GOT STRAIGHT As! But what is the price? Little Son gets so stressed with homework and studying. Big Son's attidude is I understand what your teaching, but I want to be relaxed. I'll settle for the B grade.

My son's are very smart. More so in life issues and basic common sence. I'm proud of them for their morals. I will always support them. I'm worried on what the school is doing to them.

Riding Again

On Easter, after we came back from my parent's house, the boys wanted to go for a bike ride, and I guess since it was Easter, they invited me to go with them and Husband. We are lucky because there is a lot of room for the boys to ride. There are miles of woods, plus an abandoned construction field that they are able to ride in.



Little son loves riding his 4-wheeler, which surprises me since he really liked it when he had a dirt bike.






Big Son has gotten use to his new dirt bike. He

able to do small jumps with it now.





























Since we ride in the woods, someone always gets stuck in a stream. Nobody got stuck in the stream that runs behind our house when we left. Big son got stuck getting out of the stream way back in the woods and it took a while to push his bike up the hill.

















Little son got stuck in the stream behind our house on the way home. REALLY stuck. Husband had to pull him out with his 4 wheeler. Mud was flying everywhere. A lot of laundry need to be done.



And finally, what does any father do after a pulling dirt bikes and 4 wheelers out of streams? Waiting for his wife to catch up to them? Obviously he looses his mind and walks around the yard in long underwear and socks drinking a beer.

The dreaded book

This book is really getting to me. It is really making me think about my morals and religion. The name of the book is Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. Sis, I will give it to you when I'm done to read. I can only read for about 20 minutes before I have to close the book and think about my position on what is happening. The one point that is raised that I totally agree with is that when you have children, your sense of right and wrong totally changes. There is a time in every one's life when you think about yourself; and what is done onto you. When you have children, it is no longer about yourself, or the people you love in your family. You need to protect your child. As a mother, it comes down to your children. They grew under your heart. You felt every movement, and can cry at the drop of a hat for the world they have to grow up in and the challenges they face. It brings back memories of your own childhood. You hope to get them ready for the teasing, disappointments, and loneliness that face them. Bottom line, being a parent is hard. You need to teach your children the difference from apparent right and wrong. I feel the more important lesson to teach your children is the moral high road. THAT is hard. I am always telling my boys to put themselves in somebody else's spot. What would you be feeling, thinking, wanting. I also try and tell them to NOT go against what they believe. I feel it important to have my boys "be boys", but also have compassion for others. Can you believe a fiction book can make you feel. That, in my opinion, is the reason to read. For thought. To look inside yourself and think about your morals and life. Big son is in the grade where he is reading Mice of Men, Ann Frank, To Kill a Mocking Bird, etc. I read them with him and we have great depates about what happens. How Great is that. To use books that I read and loved and be able to relate through children. It is true that the world opens through books.



Happy Easter Everyone.

I read my sister's post today about the role model my sweet nieces father is for them. I am so happy that he is such a great father to them. When I see my nieces with their father, he is their protector. You can see it from the way he gets down on his knee to their level to talk and from the way he holds them in his arms. My sister and I had that type of father. Yes, when we were young he was busy with work, racing etc. But our dad was Always there for us when it counted. He understood our needs to do our own thing. At times when we thought we would get a good shouting at from our father, he didn't. He talked to us from the stand point that he already had been through what we were going through and could understand why we did what we did. I have so much respect for my father and the lessons he taught me.

My sister also raised a point about the values and morals that are given to kids. I feel that kids make choices and decisions on what they see in their life. I want my boys to have very high standards for their friends and even the adults that they come into contact with. It is up to the boys to tell their friends the rules of our house. Big son has actually made a friend bring out the vacuum and clean the kitchen floor because he didn't take his shoes off when they had mud in them. From what I have seen, their friends have respect for them, husband and I, and also our house. I try and teach the boys the basics of right and wrong and explain to them the difference between the two. Lies are never allowed in my house. I have told both boys that I will not respect them if they lie. I also said that they I'd rather they say the truth to me, even if it will hurt my feelings, than lie. The truth makes people stronger, lies make people weak. I have never played a game with my boys and let them win. All of this sounds pretty basic, but if you hear stories from some people, their kids are saints. My boys aren't and they have to earn privileges just like I do.

To me, it is very important to spend at least 20 minutes talking to each of my boys separately each day. Sometimes it's hard to come up with something to talk about, because, lets face it, not to many boys want to open up. Sometimes I talk to them about what is happening on the news, in our life, a comment that was said by somebody. But we do talk and that is important. Also, dinner time is a no TV, no radio time. There are many nights when the TV never comes on because the four of us are sitting at the table talking.

I'm currently reading a book that I have to keep putting down. Not because it is bad, but because the issues that are raised make me have to stop and think about what I would do it the mother's position. The book starts out with a car accident in which her husband dies and her daughter hurt. The daughter lives and the mother meets someone else, gets married and pregnant again. They hire a handy man to renovate a room in their house for the baby. The man ends up killing the new husband and killing her daughter. What is thought is that the handy man was molesting the daughter and the new husband walked in on it. The handy man is sentenced to death. The mother has her baby. Fast forward 11 years, the baby is in need of a heart transplant and the man sentenced to death wants to donate his heart to her when he is finally put to death which is to take place within the next 2 months. WHAT WOULD YOU DO? On the one hand, I would want anything to have my child live. What mother wouldn't. But to have a part of your first child's murder inside of your baby? I don't know. I would have to have any extra time with my children that was promised. Even if it was one more day. Could you really deny your child life because it was an evil person who could give it to them? Think about all the organ donations that happen. It is not known who is giving their organs. A person could be evil and just never caught for what they did. If you got that persons heart, you would not have known what they did while alive. I'm not even half way through the book.

Race Photos

Cool guys by boys are. Above is Patrick hanging at the track watching the racing. Below is Tyler, giving me the evil eye because I dared to take his picture on the podium.

On the bottom is a picture of Tyler on the podium after his 2nd place win in OCR. He also finished 3rd, 4th and 13th over the weekend. The 13th place finish was disappointing because he was in 2nd and the 3rd place car smashed his bumper so hard he got screwy and fell back. All in all though he had a very good weekend. He also set the fastest lap times for his age group (13-16).

The picture on the top is Patrick's podium picture. He finished 1st and 4h over the weekend. He did a real good job

Above is a picture of Patrick's go-kart. Husband is giving Patrick some last minute advise before going out on the track and Patrick is probably telling Husband to leave him alone, he knows what to do. The bottom photo is Tyler and his go-kart at the trailer. Tyler has two karts since he has two different motors to run.

updates

It again has been a long time since I wrote. Over the weekend, the boys had a race so that is why I didn't write then. I guess I'm going to take tonight to update everything that I have written about. First off, everything in the house is completed except the two bathrooms. We have been waiting for the plumber to return and he is going to finish everything by this Friday. Hopefully we will be able to have the tile done and use the bathrooms by next Monday. Above is a picture of my new tile in the kitchen. Tomorrow I'll be downloading a lot of pictures so I guess there will be more updates.

Big Son got punished for his episode at school. The kid didn't say anything but Husband and I felt that he needed have some sort of hardship for using violence. Of course, since we were going to be away for 4 days it was hard to come up with a punishment. What we decided was that he had to call his friends and disinvite them over for the days they have off from school the Friday before and Monday after Easter. This caused a screaming episode from him. We also took PlayStation away for a week. He didn't understand why he was getting punished for "sticking up" for himself when husband and I are always telling him to do so. I had to explain that he could have done it other ways besides punching. I told him next time someone picks on him for no reason to turn it around on the person. I told him he has no problem saying something obnoxious to husband, his brother, or I when he doesn't like what we say, so do the same thing to whoever picks on him. Plus, on the side, I told him to never punch first. I probably shouldn't have said that, but I had to give him something. I also called his guidance counsler at school and told her what happended. She seemed surprised that he did something like that.

I'm now trying to figure out what to do for the boys Easter baskets. I hate spending the money on things that they will only use on Easter and never touch afterwards. I bought somethings from the $1 store today because I really don't care if they only last the day. It is getting disappointing for me now becuase they are outgrowing alot of the items they would usually get, but get angry if they don't get the paddle balls or yoyos or foam rockets.

Well, tomorrow there will be a lot of pictures uploaded on the blog. The boys did good. Big Son finished 3rd, 5th, 2nd, and 10th; Little son finsihed 1st and 4th. We race again in NC the weekend of 4/11.

14 Year Old

Well, I haven't written in a long time. Most days, I grab my computer with every intention to write a post. The problem is I have to much to say and end up saying nothing.

Today however, my eldest son gave me reason to post. I guess the best place to start is last Friday. He came home from school with some friends and complained about a kid in his class who had been picking on him during the week. The kid is in his grade, but small; about two inches and 40 pounds smaller than little son. Big son told him to knock it off and if he didn't big son would smack him. Now, big son and this kids have been kind of friends since 6th grade. They both play football, they have the same friends, classes together, but they don't hang out with each other after school and weekends. Both boys were going to a party Friday night at one of Big Son's friends house. I asked him how it went with the kid and he said it was fine, he didn't say anything.

Fast forward to today. Big Son comes home after school, runs in the house calling me. Tells me that the kid started in with him this morning and Big Son told him again to stop or he would get smacked. Well, on the way to the bus, the kid started saying things again. Big Son's friends (who are also friends with this kid) told him to knock it off, he wasn't funny and that he would get smacked if he didn't stop. He didn't stop and Big Son turned around and punched him. The kid fell down and started crying. Then he got up and and as Big Son was walking away, he tried to pull Big Son's backpack. Big Son's friends pushed him away and told him to lay off or someone else might punch him.

I stood there looking at him with my mouth open, shocked that he punched someone (besides his brother). I asked him if the kid was ok and where he got punched. Big Son said he was probably ok, but since he punched the kid in the stomache, he might have a problem with his ribs. I asked him why he punched him in the stomache and he said that he did that because he really didn't want to hurt the kid, only get him to back off, but he thinks he hit him harder than he was planning on.

So now I ask if he realizes that probably tomorrow he will be in the principal's office and that there is a good chance that he will get suspended. He says he knows, but at least nobody will pick on him or say anything to him anymore. I asked if kids pick on him alot and he gives me a look like I'm stupid and says no, but that this kid was saying he was fat, needed to go on a diet, that he wouldn't seem so big if he wasn't so fat, he isn't strong; only fat, etc. I then tell him that he will probably get punished at home also and that he has to tell his father what happened. He doesn't want to tell his father, doesn't want his father to know because he won't listen and probably just blow up at him. I had to explain to him that if he didn't say anything, I would have to because his father needs to know what is going on also and that it would be better if he told the story. I asked him why he told me and he said that he knew I would listen and then ask a lot of questions then maybe yell at him.

The phone has rung 9 times so far from his friends calling to talk about what happened. I told Big Son that he shouldn't be proud of himself because he hurt someone and that it would be better if him and his friends just drop it.

Now, do I punish him? His feeling is that he was defending himself because the kid was "bullying" him, that he gave the kid warning to stop. What he did was wrong, but I can understand his feelings. I know that I have to do something to him for what he did, but I don't know what.

boys weekend

On Friday when Big Son left for school, he was going home with a friend afterschool and sleeping over his house along with 4 other boys. At lunch time I get a call, from school, from Big Song telling me that his friends parents said that they boys could not come over after school after all and that he would be comming home on the bus. I said thanks for calling, I'd see him at 3:00. Big Son replied that he invited everyone over to his house and I would drive them all over to the original "party" house at 7:00. "I Love you Mom your the best, thank you" and hung up before I could protest. Needless to say I have been in this position before ( with a group of hunger teenage boys comming home after school). I ran to the store, came home and made 3 dozen cookies, taco dip, homemade chips, bought 5, 5 liters of juice and soda, 2lbs of bacon, another dozen eggs, loaf of bread and another dozen eggs plus an assortment of chips. (to be on the safe side). Boys came home, came to the kitchen and proceeded to eat. 3 dozen cookies GONE within an hour. After about an hour of the boys being here, Big Son came up and asked me if everyone could sleep over. "What about your friends house" I asked. He replied that they all decided that they would rather stay here. Great.

Next step was for the 5 boys to corner my husband and beg to be driven to the movies. Of course he said yes as long as I would drive them. I made them all call their partents and drove them. I was actually better than I though it was going to be because the house stayed cleaner for a little longer and more important it was QUIET! Who knows when they finally fell asleep. I woke up at 1:00 and they were still awake.

It is fun to have the kids have friends over. I'd much rather them have friends come here instead of them going off. I know their friends and they all seem like good kids. I guess right now it doesn't make much of a difference, but if they boys keep having friends over the way they do, I figure when they are in high school it will be good. At least they will know they can hang out here.