Hellow

So, the boys are looKing at having their first snowday or early dismisal. The fact that it is a Friday and just before Christmas maKes it more exciting. To maKe it even more exciting or Big Son is that he has a big race in NC this weeKend called King of the Concrete. It is an indoor race, and the first of its Kind that he will be in. The tracK is way smaller than what he is use to and the surface is not anything that he has raced on. It will be a good experience for him because he is racing in Atlantic City in an indoor race in January that is billed as a "Show" and is the **** for champ Kart racers. Big Son was also offered a "ride" in an open Kart for the race this weeKend which will be an experience for him because he never drove an open Kart.

Little Son and I will be busy decorating the house for Christmas. He also is having friends over tomorrow and then they are all going to a party Saturday afternoon. Sunday him and I are going to be Christmas Shopping.

Tomorrow night, I'll post some pictures. A variety of pictures: What 12 boys shows looK liKe in a pile, pictures of parties, etc.

Today

So, today is my birthday. For the first time in 4 years, I was not the one to wake the family for the day. Big and Little Son came down at 5:45 to wake me and say they were awake. Told me to go back to sleep. I did. At around 6:45 Husband re-woke me to say that the boys were ready for school. It sounds like a small thing, but for me to sleep past 6:00 on weekdays is only happening during vacations. Big Son called me during his lunch period to see how my birthday was. Little Son came in the house after school sing happy birthday. To me, I couldn't ask for more. To top it off (feeding my ego) Big Son went to a Dermatologist today for the first time. The Dr. walked into the room and asked me if I was able to get in contact with Big Son's mother. Big Son laughed and said I was his mother. What more could you ask for on your 39th birthday? To top it off, we all went to my favorite restaurant. It was so much fun.

So what have I learned in 39 years? Not much. I do know that my children are my life. I do know that I am misunderstood alot. I know that it is better to have compassion and to think of others' feelings before making you opinion appear more important. I also have learned that it is necessary to have somebody in your life you you can tell anything to. I also know that it is important to listen to others and to be able to "read"' between the lines. People who appear happy on the outside are not always happy. It is always important to ask questions. Without asking questions, you will never learn anything new. Also, try new things. And most important, make sure that you have a friend who you can call at any time of the day and will know that she needs to listen and give advise. That keeps the sanity.

Little Son has friends sleeping over tonight. It is so funny because last time his friends slept over, the big thing was to stay outside late and to stay up late. Tonight, totally different story. They went to the movies, came home by 9 p.m., and fell asleep by 10:30. Big Son stayed with Husband and I and we watched movies. He was asleep on the couch with Husband by 10:00. I wish my camera had batteries for pictures. They all look so adorable.

So, signing out. All is well in this house. The babies and big baby are asleep. Tomorrow is a big day so I should be going to sleep myself. Little Son is going to his first barmitzma. We are getting our X-Mas trees and finishing our outside decorations.

Long Time

Once again, it has been awhile since I posted. I didn't even realize it until Big Son ask me if I'm still doing it. In all honesty, I just haven't been in the mood to write anything. Losing Grandma was very hard and I needed to deal with that in my own way. The day she died was horrible because I couldn't be there with her or my family. I was in NC with the boys for race related things. Also, there were tornados in the area so picking up and leaving was hard. I think there was about 3 inches of rain within 24 hours. When I found out that Grandma had died, we were actually at a friends and it was hard to no lose it in front of everyone. Husband saw my face and walked me to another room. The boys came to see what was wrong, but they were already trying not to cry. They knew. Husband then took me back to our hotel so I could deal in my own way.

There are so many things to say about Grandma. I so glad that the boys are old enough that they will remember her. They have their own stories. I will always miss her and am so grateful for all she did for me. There will always be the times when I will want to call her and hear her voice to comfort me, or to tell her a story that will amuse her. But, she will always be in my heart and that to me is a comfort.

So, as I said, I'm dealing with it in my own way. But, knowing Grandma, she would not want any of us to be sad, or depressed, or dwell on her passing for to long. She would want us to hold our memories close and build on them with our own families. That is what I'm trying to do.