Love

I was thinking today what it means to be married and still actually love your spouse. When you get married, everything is so new; almost an adventure. Your learning how to live with someone, to take care of somebody besides yourself. If you are like me, your also learning how to cook, clean, and do laundry. Of course there are fights. But it was so much fun to just be with my husband. To do things whenever we wanted. Everything feels new again.


Then, if your lucky, you have children. It's scary and exciting. Now there is a new bond with your husband. A new life that you created and it is just so amazing to think that out of your love a new person will walk the world. The baby is born, and the husband/wife roll takes on a bigger responsibility. When Big Son was born, Husband told me he was never so scared in his life as during delivery. He said it was the first time he felt helpless with me. That he had to rely on someone else to make sure baby and I were OK. Then,the adjustments begin once again. Learning how to care for a baby and also for each other. But, to me, there is nothing more beautiful than seeing your husband hold his babies. He always seems to be just a little bit more gentle, afraid to hurt them. Little comments take on a whole new meaning. The fights/arguments mean more now because there is a child involved. But, as a couple, you grow with your child. You learn how to appreciate the carnivals, parades, parties, being with family and friends through your child. "Couple" time seems to be put to the side because of your children and what it takes to raise them. If you extra lucky, more children join the family. Sometimes there is regret, wishing you could have more children. But your husband is there, holding your hand and comforting you when you cry over the children you didn't have. He reminds you of what you have.



Then you arrive at the point Husband and I are at now. Our boys are establishing their own identifies. They have their own life. Friends are now a constant in their life. The phone rings non stop in this house. But, Husband and I are on a common ground on how to raise the boys. He doesn't need to have a talk with me if the boys ask him to do something. We are on the same playing field. Some people may not understand why I married my husband and why we are still together. Yes, sometimes he makes odd comments, may say something at the wrong time, and appear to be more occupied with himself than anyone else. But he has been so good to me. He has always taken care of me and our boys. He is without a doubt the best friend I've ever had. The most amazing thing is that after almost 17 years of marriage, we can still talk to each other. When we are out to dinner, there is constant conversation between us. At home, sometimes the boys get annoyed because Husband and I are talking for awhile and he tells them they have to wait.

As our boys get older, I wish for the days when they were little. But I also see a new future with my husband. A new step. Standing beside each other as we watch our boys accomplishments, failures and disappointments.