Grandpa

Today, at 9:20 am I received the call from my uncle that Grandpa was going to be raised soon. I met my uncle, along with cousin's "friend" at the cemetery. It was a very strange feeling. 17 years ago, I cried my heart out at that same spot for him. I could not believe that my Grandfather was gone. Today, I was watching him being brought home to my Grandmother. To be with her. To comfort her. To give her peace. To the place he loved to be. I was scared watching his vault being lifted. Scared it would be dropped. Scared to be raising the dead. The scariest, looking into his empty grave and seeing the coffins of my great-grandparents. It was not an easy job lifting that vault out of its grave. There were many starts and stops. Grunts of the machine. Pulling on the bars, and wires by the workers. I know see it, and feel comforted, after looking in the grave, as his parents giving him a final hug. They are still with him. Hardest of all, they I saw it as them comforting Grandpa for Grandma.

Life definitely gives you a different perspective when you are faced with a very loved one facing death. I cant imagine a life without my Grandmother. She has always been my rock. The only person I could talk to and know I wasn't being judged. Her arms and heart are always open. Husband told me tonight that he doesn't think that I'm dealing to well with Grandma's situation. I'm probably not. I don't want her to go. I need her too much, still at my age. She's guided me through my babies and still to this day gives me advise.

I still often think of my Grandfather. 17 years later I still wonder if he is proud of his family. I think he is. I sometimes see my boys doing things and am so reminded of Grandpa. I personally think that he would absolutely be loving all of his grandchildren and great grandchildren.

I have so many memories of my Grandpa. I remember when my uncle and his friends would "abuse" me and I would threaten to tell Grandpa. They would push the issue and finally I would. Lets just say now I feel bad for making a big deal out of nothing. I remember my Grandfather telling me he'd give me $10 to wash his car. The only problem, he would sit outside and watch. He'd also tell me every spot missed or forgot to vacuum. Sometimes I washed his car 5 times for the $10. When I really got on his nerves, he'd tell me he had a project for me to put together in the basement. It took me to be about 15 before I realized that he took some of the pieces out of the bird houses that I was suppose to be building. Most of all, I remember just wanting to be with Grandma and Grandpa. Their house was always open. Their arms were always open. I still miss my Grandpa to this day.